The Twelve Dates of Xmas
I am publishing a few cryptic status updates on Facebook recently in regards to the many suitors within my crazy dating life. Since heading back online, i have had some super horror that is weird (that we’ll save yourself for the subsequent entry) but also for now, we thought you would enjoy a far more in depth description for the guys i am speaking with.
The term is used by me”men” instead loosely!
Suitor #1: Name: JJ Age: 39 Height: 6’3 Job: Engineer Lives: Long Island OkCupid Match: a disappointing 69% we will call him JJ, mostly for the reason that it’s the nickname just his cousin is allowed to make use of. From someone else, it is hated by him. Kinda anything like me with Kimmy. It is possible to call me personally Kim, Kimberly, or Kimba, but also for the passion for all plain things holy, PLEASE try not to phone me Kimmy. (Unless you are my small bro. He calls me personally Timmy. Cutest thing ever! ) JJ and I also have now been dating for all months. We came across online and their writing hooked me personally above other things. He is exceedingly smart, aimed at their work, well look over, super nerdy, and incredibly tall. Our times have actually included pizza and guy of metal, every single day in the coastline, and a dinner that is swanky their buddies among countless other people. Our company is therefore good together. I knew We adored him fairly in the beginning, and would gladly surrender my solitary woman status for the genuine relationship with JJ. With me talking to other guys since he isn’t “ready” to be exclusive / committed to me, he said that he’s “totally ok. We occur to know he wants me to do, than I’ll do it that he is NOT ok with this, but if that’s what. Enter the rest of the Suitors. Reputation: UNKNOWN
Suitor number 2: title: My Colleague’s Father’s company Partner’s Son — you may have previously learn about him in the last web log entry, My husband to be. Age: 29 Height: 6’0 Job: Construction worker everyday everyday Lives: has their own house on longer Island OkCupid match: No clue, although i might like to learn! My teammate in the office wished to set me personally up with number 2 over an ago, and through a series of circumstances, we never met year. He finally got my quantity and then we’ve been texting for all months. We’ve had a couple of good phone calls, nevertheless the many disappointing thing ended up being which he had been a cigarette smoker. Instant deal breaker for me personally.
Suitor # 3: title: Dan Age: 38 Height: 6’0 Job: IT for a appropriate company in NYC life: Astoria OkCupid Match: 82% Dan and I also had been speaking early in the day come early july, I just did not need to get harmed once again! Before i obtained afraid of males (which actually means) He delivered great communications, high in witty remarks and humor that is insightful. He is smart and simple to speak with making me feel immediately comfortable. Before we took my profile straight down for many months, we delivered Dan this message: “Hey, I got some individual material happening right now, so am using my profile straight down for some time. If you are still on here whenever I reactivate it (which for your benefit i am hoping you are not), you’re going to be the person that is first message. ” Would not you realize it, a months that are few we updated my profile and within twenty four hours of signing on, Dan penned in my experience. He stated, “Hey, I really hope you needed to sort everything out that you took the time. We examined every few of times to see if perhaps you were online once again. We missed conversing with you. Welcome back. ” And simply that way, Dan and I also began interacting each day. He is also much easier to speak with now him better that I know. We share loves of bacon, jazz, Cards Against Humanity, new york, farmer’s areas, and country music. Dan and I also just take images of y our text and food them to one another on a regular basis. He calls me personally through the food store to state things such as ” We have pasta and eggs in the home. So what can we make with this? ” and I also talk him through the aisles to generate one thing delicious. Our very very very first telephone call ended up being as he ended up being wandering the supermarket, plus it felt therefore normal. It felt like us. Reputation: ACTIVE
Suitor number 4: title: Steve Age: 32 Height: 5’11 Job: Gas fireplace repairman life: longer Island (way to avoid it eastern) OkCupid Match: 89% Steve and I also began speaking about our provided love of tea. The time that is first texted me personally, we’d both just sat right down to a hot glass of Trader Joe’s Pomegranate White Tea! Of all teas on earth to be consuming at the time, fate tossed us to the exact exact same cup that is steamy. We took this being a good indication, and then we had many hour-long telephone calls. Steve provided me with their final title so of course I facebook stalked him. (Sorry people but it is 2013 — knowledge is energy! ) there have been a few pictures of him having a child that is small but he’d never talked about a youngster before. Their twitter handle was on the website, therefore I seemed that up too. The essential tweet that is recent “My crazy bitch of a ex spouse whom hates me personally with all the fire of a lot of suns is stalking my twitter feed. Get fucking figure! ” there have been a couple of other explicit tweets about just getting 4 hours per week together with his son, her being psycho, the entire world ass that is generally sucking. We do not judge anybody according to their social media marketing, but that seems like too baggage that is much us to manage straight away. Sorry, Steve. Reputation: ELIMINATED ON THE BASIS OF ANGRY TWEETS
Suitor #12: title: The Pianist Age: 31 Height: 6’0 Job: Concert Pianist and Piano Teacher Lives: brand New Jersey (ugh) OkCupid Match: 93% The Pianist is incredibly achieved, educated, cultured, well look over, and well traveled. He spends almost all of their time in Manhattan and decided to reside in nj-new jersey for the scene of NYC. He could’ve resided in Brooklyn when it comes to views of y our reasonable skyline, but he prefers the impression of suburbia amidst the city that is big. He could be additionally a fan of inexpensive gasoline, low fees, and an extensive number of malls. He plays piano at sets from business activities to personal parties to concert halls. He shows pupils from the youngest protege to your collegiate elite. He’s type and thoughtful and keeps in contact just enough therefore me, but not so much as to scare me away that I know he’s thinking of. He is Armenian, that we knew absolutely absolutely absolutely nothing about except that the Kardashians are Armenian. (i am sorry ahead of time into the whole nation of Armenia that the Kardashian clan could be the thing that is only learn about your country! Really, i did not even understand that much. I was told by the Pianist! ) He is wonderful thus far and I also am extremely excited to make the journey to understand him better. Reputation: ACTIVE
Suitor #13: Name: Nick the Dick Age: an overgrown adolescent Height: gutter Job: irritating individuals life: in a dark and dirty destination OkCupid Match: this will be simply absurd Alright, i am aware that we said there have been twelve times of xmas 
, but I’d to toss that one on once and for all measure. Poor, unlucky thirteen. Nick had been charming sufficient online but once the saying goes, “Good in some recoverable format, shit in true to life. ” Nick skipped throughout the texting an element of the on the web progression that is dating called me the moment he got my quantity. He had been extremely talkative (a lot of so! ) and I also could not get yourself a term in edgewise. He said he does not rely on love being all “doves and butterflies and singing and shit. Love is not that way. It is crap more often than not. You have just surely got to find some body you are able to tolerate. ” He additionally stated that whenever raising kids, “it’s best to simply place a sack over their heads often so that they shut up and listen. Do you know what they state about violence: whether it’s not working, you aren’t making use of an adequate amount of it! ” Last but not least, as he asked exactly just what my weirdest online dating sites experience was, we told him in regards to the man a week ago who wished to pee on (with? ) me personally. Nick’s reaction had been “and so I guess permitting me have a shit for you is going associated with the concern, cause you are a prude? ” Reputation: ELIMINATED ON THE BASIS OF HAVE YOU BEEN FUCKING KIDDING ME.